An iPad would work too

Except the cheapest one, my mom says is slow. She doesn't explain what that means though, like if it takes stuff a long time to load, or if it takes a long time to open apps.

If it just takes a long time to load something in the browser, then it might not be iPad related. Could be her WiFi.

I'd be in bed, but I keep having to shit, the beauty of no fiber. Also, I slept till almost 2 pm. Might not be until 4 am that I can fall a sleep.

I can get an iPhone XR for $449? Apple is kind of a dick though, not letting me install Linux on it.

Nope, about $500 for me. I only have an iPhone 7 to trade in. That's still cheaper then $700+ or whatever they charge. But no fingerprint sensor, you have to use the shitty face scanner thing.

The iPad is cheaper then the Chromebook, $250 at Best Buy. I'd buy the 128 GB, it's $330, the price of the 32 GB from Apple.