That didn't take long

My anxiety increased, since Tonka hasn't been here. Took a week or two.

I don't even want to leave my apartment anymore. Even to go to her house.

There is a anxiety disorder that makes it hard to leave, you might get sick if you leave. At least, if I get that, and the doctor tells me to walk myself, I'll just throw up instead. I'll be throwing up at the doctor office.

Don't know if medicine helps that disorder.

I can join the Berserkers in ELEX finally

It'll be a while before I can join the Outlaws, need to level up, to be able to do the mission.

Can you join all three of the factions? I killed some Albs, which was the last thing I needed to do, to join the Berserkers. According to the Steam forum, a Berserker shot him down.

So I can join the Berserkers, and use high tech weapons. If they can shoot me down, then I can use that type of weapon too. Otherwise, the game is a hypocrite.

You have to go to the Valley of The Dead, or whatever it's called, to kill the Albs. Lots of exiles you have to kill too, I used a sphere gun, it worked great.

I've played the game for 33 hours. The save file isn't that long, probably because I died, and had to load an auto save, so my main save file isn't 33 hours.

Still only level 14.

Nope, you can only join one faction. Might get attacked going into other faction places. Sounds like fun. Can you use magic to heal yourself?

I joined them. More like Skyrim, if you be a Berserker.

Just need to get to level 25, and I can get promoted again. You can do a shitload of damage with the poison fist. I have the fire one too now. I'll probably get the ice one once I level up. I need to do the quest with the bomb, might be able to destroy it with fire. Destroy the drone that attaches to it, I almost did, then the bomb thing killed me.

Can you become a Warlord?

Oh, and you can't join the Clerics after joining a different faction. I asked the guy if I could, he said no.

I'm a liar and cheater?

The location might be wrong. But how is it possible I cheat? I've never dated anybody in my life.

A liar, probably.

The "missed" connection could be for somebody else. But I might get high self esteem if I think I'm a cheater. Doesn't sound like they know the meaning of the word "missed". If they are so bad, why miss them? That should be in the Rants & Raving.

Also, it's not cheating, if they have different equipment then who you are dating. So if you are dating a cis woman, and have sex with a trans woman, it isn't cheating. She might be pissed though, if you didn't use a condom. She can do the same thing, have sex with a trans man.

They found something in Tonka

Some kind of cancer, but only in one spot they looked. They want to do a bigger biopsy. How much to remove it? Except, last time she got surgery, it took her a year to recover, she might not live a year. Especially if the cancer is somewhere they didn't look.

They didn't really know what it is, they'd need a bigger biopsy.

For the past two days, she followed me when leaving, wondering if she gets to go home yet. She might knock something on herself, or get stuck, if I take her home.

Also, need to wait for her to get used to the new medicine, it can take a week or longer. She's having trouble walking now, most likely the new medicine. The Trazodone did the same thing, except that's all it did, she wouldn't sleep when taking it. She'd try standing up on my bed, and fall down.

I don't know if I'll be able to take her home. If we know when we have to put her down, I'll take her home for the night before that day. So she can sleep on my bed if she wants. I don't care if I don't get any sleep. I just want her last memory to be with me here. She likes it here, so that would be a good memory.

Sister doesn't want a new computer for free?

With my old CPU, GPU, and NVMe SSD, everything else would be new.

She didn't reply to the text I sent last night. Well, that'll save me $300 or so. Don't really need money though.

That's a good way not to get something for free, don't say anything.

Yup, not responding means you don't want it. I won't say anything else about it to her. If she asks, I won't respond. Or just say, "I decided to keep it.".

Spider-Man for the PS4 is supposed to be a good game

Apparently it outsold a Batman game, that was on multiple platforms, Spider-Man is PS4 only.

Maybe I'll buy it someday. Probably not, as I haven't turned the PS4 on for some time. I tried playing Red Dead Redemption 2 on it, that game is boring as fuck. Also, super slow, in the camp. I don't want to slowly walk five feet in a game. How much is it worth? Amazon might give me money. Oh wait, might be digital, in that case, it's 100% useless.

Looks like around $17. Assuming it's not the digital version. Damn, it's the digital version, no case where my game cases are for it.

Almost $13 for GTA, that game blows ass too. Saints Row is better.

Battlefield V might be fun, if you have PS Plus. I won't be paying for PS Plus for one game. I won't buy the PC version, I doubt it works in Linux using Wine/Proton/Whatever. Should probably go to bed, nothing to do.

Single player RPG games are better. Better then Battlefield V.

How big is my wrist?

Will the Apple Watch Series 3 38mm fit? Maybe.

The Amazfit Bip's battery life was basically cut in half, 8 days, and 17% left. It was 20 days or so before. Charging it now, as it'll drain another 10% over night most likely.

That's 10.375% a day, so it'll only last around 9 days.

The firmware could be the source of the poor battery life. I updated it some days ago. Probably 8 days ago.

There's another problem, it stops responding to touch, I'll be trying to get to the clear all screen, and it'll just be unresponsive, and I have to wait till it'll work again.

If the battery life isn't even 20 days anymore, might as well buy a watch with working touch, or a bunch of buttons.

The 38mm Series 3 is $200, the Fitbit Versa is about the same. Well, that was on Best Buy, it's $170 on Amazon, and the Lite Edition is $140. The regular one is still close to $200, probably is after tax. What does the Lite one lack? I forgot.

A Apple Watch might be a bad idea, if I get a non iOS phone, it'll be useless. Fitbit Versa probably wouldn't work with a Linux phone either, no I'm not talking about Android.

The Lite is sold by somebody else, fulfilled by Amazon. I'd rather get it directly from Amazon.

Same price at Best Buy, for the regular one.

The Apple Watch is better. Won't buy anything till next month. Will probably just give my sister the computer with my old CPU, GPU, and NVMe SSD. But that might not happen next month, since I won't be getting any money for it.

Maybe after charging the Amazfit Bip, it'll start lasting 20 days again. Or go on eBay, find a replacement battery, pay somebody with small hands to replace it for me.

She doesn't think about how others feel either

If she doesn't want people to yell back at her, don't yell at them in the first place.

Didn't do anything, and she's been all pissed off all night.

Yelling at me for not going directly downstairs to get in her car. Apparently I'm not supposed to pet my dying dog.

Ice cream headache

I haven't had a milkshake so long, it doesn't take much to get a ice cream headache. I won't be getting another one anytime soon. Maybe if they put it in the microwave for me.

I didn’t even finish my milkshake before taking a runny dump. Almost did. Might be unrelated to the milkshake. I ate a everything bagel before bed last night. Those can give me the runs too.

I put it in the fridge. That might slowly warm it up. Leaving it out would of.

Nobody told her to read or respond to texts overnight

I didn't. Tonka calmed down eventually, when she picked her up.

She claims that ruined her whole week. I can see one day, but not the whole week.

Next time, I won't send her any texts, assuming I take her home someday. I probably won't, because she thinks I'll text her.

Wake Up Call has good milkshakes. You get a dollar off, if you use a Cash card.

If I get the runs, that means it was delicious, that's what delicious food does to me.

Wild goose chase

That's what happens if you want to talk to me.

Except, it's not really a chase anymore. Since, I mostly stay in my apartment now.

Funny what happens when you get an Outlaw a drone to do his guard job in ELEX

Once you bring the drone to him, some other Outlaw, tries leaving that way, the drone isn't able to identify them. Then says 2000 shards, but he refuses to pay. So he fights the drone, and dies. I looted his body.

Stealing it is easy, just like he said, they probably wouldn't notice. They didn't. I teleported to The Fort after getting the drone. If they noticed, they'd be attacking me, and no teleporting.

She thinks Tonka is only good if she eats her food

That's what she wants her to do. She's good either way.

Tonka could attack me, and she'd still be good. There's nothing she can do, that I'd consider her bad. Even if she killed me, I'd still think she's good.

You won't change what I believe.

Will the SMACH Z ever ship?

If you search Geekbench, for "AMD Ryzen™ V1605B", it scores higher then my iPad, at least with Linux. Doesn't score as good with Windows, but that's a shitty OS, so not surprising.

I probably won't buy one, the iPad is fast enough.

The only thing I'll buy, is the parts for my old CPU. I'll sell it, and who knows if I'll do anything with the $400. Maybe not.

That might be why I gained 0.6 pounds

No dog here, so no walking around the building with her.

Might reverse that soon, once she dies, might not be eating anymore.

Want to be irritable?

Get depressed. How to get depressed? Easy, get a dying dog. It helps if you grew up with the dog.

Can't even take her home, maybe if I got rid of everything.

Soon enough, we will know if she has cancer, that the radiologist saw.

Would Philo or Expedition Unknown stop saying there's new episodes?

I tried watching one of the so called "new" episodes, it wasn't new. Search for the keyword on the Expedition Unknown page, and you'll see there was already an episode about it.

Instead of giving the episodes an episode number, it just has the date, slightly different title, and they call it "new". I don't want to watch old episodes.

Somebody asked if Tonka was doing alright

I said "I dunno". Don't want to talk about how she's doing. I'd rather sit in my apartment and cry, that she'll be gone soon.

That might be a good way to teach people not to love, if you love, you'll be depressed when they die. So why bother? I won't be depressed when I die, I won't feel a thing. I'll probably be in a trance state, and won't even know I'm dead.

Don't think she's coming home. Not enough room for her to pace. She might not be able to walk around the building to go potty either.

Can't let her be in a different room while I sleep, as she might get stuck, or knock stuff on herself. If you lock her in your room, she gets upset. That's why I didn't get good sleep one night, she was scratching at stuff.

Today, she didn't even want me to pet her, and she didn't get on the couch. Probably not feeling good today. She may of wanted to go home with me though. She'll probably do that everyday I go over there.

I wasn't prepared to lose her this year. I was really hoping another year or two, probably still wouldn't be prepared.