After I did some crying for three or four days, I now feel like nothing.
Why do you have to cry for the Zyprexa to kick in? I should request a higher dose.
It's also possible being so upset broke something in my brain.
What's worse feeling like nothing or being in a trance state. I'd say feeling like nothing is worse. In a trance state, you won't live very long, so it's not worse. You'll live longer feeling like nothing.
How do you go from caring a lot about your dog, to not giving a shit about anything anymore? The Zyprexa might not be what did anything. Depression might have more then one stage. What's the next stage? Probably isn't one, just dead. That's how your body gets ready for death, it makes you stop giving a fuck.
Or how your body gets you ready for a trance state.
They should do a scan of my brain, to see how small it is. Probably shrunk.
Well, looks like I'm 100% unable to take care of any dog now. I just needed to be woken up to reality. Reality = life dying.
I wonder what the doctor will do. He might have a word from what I'm experiencing. Will he take me out of my misery? Except, I'm not miserable anymore. Take me out of my insanity then?
That reminds me, I had a dream, that I was stabbing myself in two different spots to remove demons. So, I'm probably possessed by demons. There's got to be a better way to get rid of em.
Tonka isn't feeling good today, she didn't even want me to pet her. Not really looking at me when I call her either.
If it's a trance state I'm in, it's a mild trance state.
My regular doctor doesn't do brain disorders, so no need to do anything about anything.
Might also be not enough sleep. Had to get up, cause I needed to shit, maybe if my alarm didn't go off, I wouldn't of needed to get up when I did.